This year has felt different than any other for me and it’s not just the crazy bell schedule. Before the start of school I couldn’t believe I was becoming a senior, graduating in a few months and applying to college. But now it has hit me harder than when my car got rear-ended on Wilson last year. 

Although seniors are supposed to be the wisest students in the building, we’re still learning ourselves. In the month that I’ve been one I’ve had four unique experiences that no other grade level can relate to. 

Everyone makes a comment about college merch 

When it’s cold outside, and I’m struggling to even get out of bed, I’ll quickly throw on my UPenn sweatshirt. This old friend and I have been through a lot together from Zoom school to late night cramming; the fabric is at the perfect level of washed and worn. I am deeply connected to this shirt, but I have no interest in the institution. I’ve never even visited. My sister just passed the sweatshirt down to me when she committed to a different school. 

Inevitably, every time I wear this sweatshirt to school, I’m asked about it by half of my teachers and my peers in class. The same thing happens with every piece of college merch I own: my UIUC t-shirt, my Boston University water bottle sticker, my Northwestern crewneck.

While everyone curious about my future has good intentions, it only exacerbates the feeling of uncertainty every senior has. Where will I go to school? How can I pay for this? What should I major in? What should the color scheme of my dorm be? 

My solution to the burning questions that everyone always asks is to wait till May 1, 2024. By then I’ll have a detailed answer and most of my anxiety will be gone. Can we all agree to not ask where we are going when the application has only been open for 20 days? I havn’t even finished my essays. 

Firsts turn into Lasts 

A few weeks ago I bought a dress with ruffled sleeves and a flower pattern. It definitely has summer vibes. “This would be perfect for the first day of school next year!” I thought to myself. But then I paused. The last first day of school look already passed. Can I wear the dress next year for the blazing hot college move-in day? Nope, I’ll stick to comfortable shorts and a college shirt and pray I have air conditioning and a working elevator. 

But I can wear it for my last day in a few months. It won’t just be my last day of senior year but my last day at Glenbard East. My last day at a Lombard school. My last moment of childhood. Hopefully my last college application will be finished soon. 

Senior year is all about lasts: last Friday Night Lights, last Homecoming, last yearbook. I haven’t decided yet if these lasts are good or bad, but I’m trying to enjoy them before they’re gone. 

Some seniors give up on school spirit, feeling it’s archaic. But I think that spirit is the key to keep me going. It makes senior year more enjoyable and less scary, a good distraction. That’s why I became a Senior Leader. We’re all about school spirit and connecting with others. This way I can look back on this time and not only cringe at the college application anxiety and lack of motivation but cherish the memories of jumping into the lake on the Lake Geneva Leadership Weekend and screaming until I lose my voice in the student section of a football game. 

You’ll get to know your counselor very well 

During Glenbard Hour on the 11th, the counselors gave us a presentation about applying to college and our future endeavors. Mr. Lily said something that stuck with me. “You know how you hadn’t really seen us much over the past three years? Well, that’s because we spend most of our time with the seniors. That’s you now, and you’ll meet with us more than you have in all of high school combined.” He’s right. Some students haven’t even met their counselor before senior year, but it’s September and I’ve already had an hour-long meeting with my counselor, Mrs. Lepsi, just to finalize my list of schools. I’ve learned that she has a standing desk, likes sports, and has a lot of pictures of her kids in her office. I never noticed that before. 

That definitely won’t be the last time I meet with her. There’s so much more to discuss from grades, to FAFSA, to career goals, and what shoes I should wear to Homecoming. 

Senioritis 

This is a classic symptom of senior year, and I’m no exception. This feeling has inched into my life in both a negative and positive way but I’m only going to write about the positives. My mom is reading this! Although I am taking 5 AP classes and spend hours a night doing homework, I don’t feel that stressed about it. I’m at a point in time where getting an A+ on every test is not a priority. In the grand scheme of things I won’t remember it. 

I’ve been saying “In the grand scheme of things” a lot lately. Maybe it’s to ignore the uncertainty creeping up after graduation. Or maybe the junior year AP Environmental Science existential crisis finally caught up to me. 

One good thing about existential crises is that I don’t find myself caring about what others think as much. My constant over thinking in the hallways of debating whether or not I should say hello to an acquaintance is gone. I’m just gonna do it. Should I wear a dress if I haven’t shaved my legs in a few days? Yes, because no one is going to be looking at them. They’re all stressing out about their own little problems. In a few months I’ll be graduating and will never see most of these people again. I can do what I want and act how I want because I’m a senior. Senioritis can be used for good! Hopefully my mom stops teasing me about it though.